sitting in easy pose on the couch, laptop appropriately on the lap, putting off trudging upstairs to install oodles more memory in my mac (memory brni so sweetly bought for me. graci baby!).
jess had his impacted wisdom teeth removed today. he only had three. his surgeon told him to thank me for that. barely half an hour after the doctor took him he was done. they called me into the recovery cubby to sit with him for another half hour.
jess was stoned. definitely stoned. i was jealous. he saw me and said, “hey, mama! do i have holes in my head?” i told him he did and he said, “when are they going to take my teeth out?” i told him they already did. he was done. he said, “i’m done? heeeeyyyyy…they only took a second!”
he went on and on talking, laughing and philosophizing about teeth. he explained to me how he was only using 30% of his right, front tooth, 10% of his upper lip, 50% of his lower lip and 90% of his tongue, but 0% of his jaw to talk. he then decided that they should put a video camera in the recovery cubbies to tape people after surgery, “because 9 out of 10…no, 3 out of 20 people are really funny. they could tape them and then sell the tapes on the market and make a fortune!” i laughed so hard i wheezed. what my loved ones refer to as my “muttly laugh.”
finally, it was time to go.
and his temper turned.
he wanted to go to the gryphon for coffee. he didn’t care that he wasn’t allowed to drink coffee or talk a lot or that people might be put off by the guy with the gauze in his mouth dribbling blood-tinged saliva. i told him i couldn’t, in good conscience, drop him off at the gryphon but if he left to go there later, that was his choice.
he railed and ranted for several hours about leaving, etc. i managed to distract him with ibuprofen, vicadin, ice packs, yogurt w/molasses and a reiki session until the anesthesia and novocaine wore off. by 3:30 his was still loaded but at least not totally fucked up, so i took him to whole foods to buy soft foods and then drove him home.
my hands are empty. i hope he’s ok.