missing pieces

at 76 you are too young to be as mentally incapacitated as you are, but i guess that’s what happens when you live too hard for too long, abdicating to your wife and children responsibility of the day-to-day. and then your wife dies and your younger daughter gives up and gets a life. and you turn your back on me. and then you get sick and needy and turn around and thrust the duties of your life onto me without even asking. and first you won’t listen and then you can’t listen and now you don’t remember how.
and you fight and you lie and the lies insinuate themselves into your reality and you can’t tell the difference anymore, if you ever could.
and now, i have to pick up all these little pieces of your mind that you scattered about your carpet, but they are so tattered they don’t make a whole you anymore. and now, i have to make doctors tell you that your pieces are missing. and later, i have to make lawyers tell you that your pieces are lost. and we’ll take all the responsibilities, duties and all the stuff you left to others and put it in a little room in a sub-standard warehouse because you threw away everything you made and everything mom made for a shot of cheap whiskey and a game of liars poker.

5 responses to “missing pieces”

  1. brni Avatar
    brni

    *hug*

    Like

  2. earlofgrey Avatar
    earlofgrey

    *very big hug*
    i am sorry.

    Like

    1. lsaboe Avatar
      lsaboe

      s’okay…i just needed to get that out.
      thanks for delicious hug…truly needed and appreciated.
      *hugsback*

      Like

  3. westlinwind Avatar
    westlinwind

    You are welcome here for tea and ranting anytime, darlin’. *HUG*

    Like

    1. lsaboe Avatar
      lsaboe

      i would love some tea and sympathy. 🙂
      so, it all went way worse than i’d hoped with dad. he refuses to even consider changes to keep his $$ safe. he got so agitated we just had to stop talking. he also refuses to go to the doctor to find out if there are any meds to help with his memory and “dreams.”
      i found a geriatric eval & mgt program at crozer-chester which i think i will have to trick him into going to…his dr. was less than helpful…if i were a litiginous sort, he’d be getting a letter from my lawyer.
      ahwell…tea on the horizon.
      things will be better.

      Like

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