i am an impatient thing. i’m 15 days post-op and i am sick of the brace, sick of doing nothing, sick of pain. i feel i should be completely well and my stupid brain does not understand why this is taking so long.
my friends, the visiting nurse and physical therapist all say i have to remember i’m only a couple weeks post-op and these things take time and i should not try to rush myself. at the same time they all ooh and ahh at how quickly the bruising went away and how fast my incision is healing and how well i’m doing with the walking and pain management. today the nurse was amazed that i’m showering on my own and only need brni’s help to wash my back.
so, i’m confused as well as impatient.
i want spring to be here NOW. i need to get outside and visit my yard and my plants and figure out where i’m going to put what this year. i missed the equinox because of my back and the mucking with time (daylight savings) has gotten me off as well. i hate daylight savings time. why do people think it’s ok to muck with time? when the sun is at the top of the sky it should be noon. end of story.
i need to figure out a way to opt out of the whole time thing as it is presently measured. in fact, i need to the study time in terms of calendars as well. i dislike the gregorian calendar mostly because it’s ridiculous to hinge an entire year’s reckoning on when easter happens. so, it appears i need to research calendars and figure out how to make sense of time and apply it so that my year has some practical meaning. i need to know where the moon is, the angle of the sun, the progress of the seasons (no matter how screwed up they are due to climate change). it just might be that i will need to dispense with time-keeping altogether and just watch and think in terms of spirals and ellipses.
hmmm…this may be the answer to the trouble i have with all those xtian holidays that make my life a living hell every winter.
o good! i think i have a project!