this is the first thanksgiving without my father. i thought of him throughout the night. thanksgiving has never been one of my favorite holidays because “family dinners” always ended up rather dismal. dad would usually be drinking and wishing he were elsewhere; mom would be stressed putting on a big meal, knowing that at some point dad would turn nasty, finding an excuse to storm out of the house to go hang at the bar.
later, after mom died, thanksgiving was a battle of who’s house to eat at and the inevitable pressure put on us from the family contingent that was not being graced with our obligatory presence. a particularly annoying case of family push-me-pull-me nonsense.
i tried having thanksgiving at my house one year, but there’s something wrong with vegetarians cooking turkey and the universe cursed us for the effort. see http://thereallinda.livejournal.com/2004/11/27/ for that particular misery.
but…
last night was very nice. my son, jess and his girlfriend came, brni’s parents, marnie’s dad and a few family friends came with assorted wines and musical instruments. after dinner we all played music and sang silly songs.
last year dad was with us and had a very happy time.
i sent him a song for the day.
2 responses to “a day without dad”
Glad Thanksgiving Present was better than Thanksgiving Past. I remember those days. My mother-in-law, a.k.a., She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed holding court at her table, proud to have all 3 sons present (her sons didn’t desert her for their wives’ families, she saw to that!)…glad those days are gone, frankly. Unfortunately, my mom is gone, too.
Last night, Bob played some old home videos that he took…Joey was about 4 or 5, sitting on my knee, singing Christmas songs. Tony, about 2 or 3, trying to sing but mostly cavorting about on the couch.
Who was that young mother? Seems like another life…
Joe will be 21 on December 9, and he brought his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving…
Who knows where the time goes?
–Barbara
LikeLike
i sit here, imagining (quite easily) a young barbara-mom, singing with her family. nice picture i have of you now.
change is bittersweet, no?
LikeLike