So, for the past week, Action News and the other branded news and weather broadcasters have been predicting frigid arctic cold blanketing the Delaware Valley — any day now.
Today was supposed to *be the day* the cold hits. I went outside this morning in my bare feet to test the cold.
not so bad.
I figured, well, maybe it’s supposed to get dangerously cold later in the day.
So, later in the day I donned heavy jacket, gloves, scarf, etc., went outside and promptly went back in the house to shed the aforementioned outerwear and slipped into my bright orange ‘tween jacket. No need for gloves or scarf.
So, now they say the cold will hit any minute now. Be prepared. Be scared.
I’m so tired of the media turning every minor shift or event into a national emergency.
I have advice to de-wimpify yourself:
go outside.
naked.
when it’s cold.
it’s good for you.
Croneswood Art 
10 responses to “weatherWimps”
From Nick Kaufman’s blog
They were panicking on the local news last night. They screamed “Four to eight inches of snow by morning! Four to eight inches!” with the same sense of desperate urgency as the announcement that nuclear missiles had been launched at us.
“God help us all,” I saw one anchorwoman say before smearing her face with red warpaint. She proceeded to chop up her co-anchor and stuff his body parts into Ziploc bags to, as she put it, “survive the food shortages to come during the snow holocaust.”
When the weatherman appeared on screen, his eyes were empty, bleeding sockets. He held out his hands to the camera, something round and squishy hidden in each palm, and gibbered about how he couldn’t “dare to face the hideous abominations that will surely rise from the snowbanks to devour our souls!”
The weatherman screamed, and suddenly a blood-red fist appeared from out of his mouth and he dropped to the floor, dead. Behind him, wiping the blood off his hand, was the sports reporter. He had put on a gold cape and a tall, Pope-like hat. “Follow me,” he said into the camera, “for I am the vessel of the Lord. All shall perish who do not come unto him, for damnation shall rain down from the sky tonight. Fluffy, white damnation!”
Then the cameraman’s blood washed over the lens and the screen went black, though there were a few extra seconds of sound: terrified screaming, mad gibbering, the sickening whuck sound a swung blade makes when it enters flesh, and then nothing but silence.
Anyway, after all that, we didn’t get any snow here.
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Re: From Nick Kaufman’s blog
ack.
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❤ you. 🙂
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❤ you too.
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“Arctic Cold.” I’ve always hated that term. -40°F is the winter average temp in the Arctic.
-40°F!
How in hell are these cold snaps in the greater Philly area (hell, even here in New England) comparable to that?
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so, like today?
an arctic 34o
not even freezing temps
but it’s snowing (slightly) right now…it finally got cold enough.
i better send brni to acme to buy gallons of milk and wonder bread.
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Don’t forget eggs. Apparently everyone in PA makes French Toast when it snows.
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No. No, Linda is right, in PA it’s milk and wonder bread that you need to buy when they threaten the Sowns of Doom are a-comin’. That and all the toilet paper you can carry!
And really, if you’re a Celtic pagan, Summer will be here on the twenty-first of December!
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True, true. But we’re stuck here in the Northern Hemisphere.
I spent most of my life in the Philly area. I always knew the bread/milk/eggs folks down there. Every time we saw the grocery store get mobbed before snow storms, we said it was French Toast time. 😉
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Me, I always make sure we have ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies. I was going to make some tonight but got sucked into cleaning up my email and reading LJ.
I guess I’ll be baking tomorrow.
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