Tag Archives: dreams

it’s possible i’m watching too many zombie shows

Several months ago, while in that misty, gray space between dreamworld and awakeworld, I felt my body completely at ease with no hint of pain anywhere. The sense of no pain shocked me fully awake bringing back to consciousness the accumulated pain of a 60+ year old body. I tried so very hard to find that place again, arranging my body parts in the exact same way they were when I was between worlds and free.

no luck.

I woke up this morning around 3am with a loud brain thinking disjointed thoughts, rapidly and in no particular order. Sleep was gone gone gone. Around 5am I considered getting up to make coffee. Instead, I remembered that place of ease from months before and gave it a second try. Arranging my body just like it had been before, I drifted away. My success was disrupted by the rudest, most gruesome nightmare — full of blood, pain, terror, and shit — that I think I’ve ever had.

next time, i’ll just go make coffee.

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winding my way to the end of the year

a heron crossed my path the other day. for some reason, i found this ominous. i’ve always viewed herons as wonderful creatures and thought of them as messengers of good fortune. not this one. this felt like a warning. i have been vigilant ever since, but it’s wearing me down.

i’m very tired tonight. the holidaze have done me in both physically and emotionally. the day brought good food, spirited drinks, dear family and honored friends. it also brought sadness and serious worry for some of my loved ones. a child’s hurt cut my heart; a friend’s bitterness wrenched my gut. i have not slept through the night since. brni is sleeping south of here till sometime on thursday and i simply want to take this time to cushion my senses from the world.

a new year is just around the corner and i’m hoping for strength, insight and inspiration. oh, and to lose weight. and maybe live through the year watching all those i love have a really good time of it.

to bed. no dreams, please.

why do i have these dreams?

I’m not at all sure it’s reasonable to dream about an old friend, lost to the decades and distance, as a reanimated corpse who is bored and wants to go to the Mutter Museum, but it is apparently 3pm on a Sunday and the museum will be closing at 5…

and so on

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dreams of games and consequences

About dreams, from Holy Fools by Joanne Harris: “They are like waves, she told me, of the tides that bear us, from which strange jetsam may be gathered, strange eddies from the deeps for those to read who can. I must use my dreams, not fear them. Only a fool fears knowledge.”

So last night, my dreams jerked me from sleep, with the heart pounding fear only night terrors can bring. It was a clear, cool summer night. The stars and planets bright, touchable and whirling in in dizzying spirals. Trails and orbits changed into coppery streaks, the heavenly bodies garishly colored, geometric and mechanical. Party noises drifted down from an illuminated house on a hill above us, so brightly lit we could see the shapes of the people as they grew louder and wilder in their revelry. There was something demonic in the rhythm of their calls and shouts, as if they were in the midsts of some climactic ritual.

Then things changed from ceremony to frat-boy antics to murder. Young men were being herded and thrown from the large house, falling from ledge to precipice to slope to ground, some of them screaming as their bones broke against stone. A sickly neon glow outlined the edges of their descent, until finally we were all on the same level.

Night turned quickly into day and what was once woods and soft grass was now cement slabs, corridors and glass doors. Everything was squared. People were running, hiding while others were being toppled and run over by large, steel balls moving at a blinding rate of speed. I skirted the edges of the mayhem, trying to stay out of sight.

Finally, taking my chance, I ran for the glass doors, barely making it before hearing the loud clanging bells. Moving in that oppressive slow motion of nightmares, I grabbed the door and struggled to squeeze through to safety. Looking out, I saw that the door didn’t open to safety, but to a larger cement playing field. The world had turned into a vast pinball game and the balls were racking us up for points.
And the night before, I dreamt of a loved one’s betrayal at the hands of friends.

So, I’m drinking coffee before 6am and writing all this down, thinking that a change in nighttime eating habits may be in order. I’ll be paying close attention though…just in case.

plant dreams

sometimes i dream about plants. last night i dreamt about plantain….you know, that lowly lawn weed that most people dowse with poison in hopes to rid their lawn of all life except the acceptable sort of grass featured on the sides of those trucks with green thumbs.

i have been trying to encourage plantain to grow in my yard. i would be thrilled if it would consider being my ground cover along the paths and beds in both front and back yards. i’ve even saved some seeds from the ones that do grow around to scatter in other parts of the yard. and that’s sorta what was happening in my dream…plantain was growing everywhere, deeply lush and green. i could almost taste it while i questioned how much to pick to make a healing salve for my sister.

so, not a dream full of meaning…just an easy dream about a common weed.

no thank you, i’ll have my tea without krumpets

I hereby declare a war on toxins. I do believe that the combination of skin-so-soft to repel mosquitoes during my meteor-hunt last night and Brni’s vodka made from rye caused damage on several levels. My liver aches and my throat is sore and the dreams I had last night have hurt my psyche.
the dreams


when brni goes on the road, i have a little ritual. i bolt all the doors, keep my car keys and my black jack by my pillow and i keep the bedroom door open halfway so that i can hear what happens and see shadows pass by–just in case.
and then i usually have a whopper of a nightmare.
Continue reading

blunt instruments

last night’s dream was a bit disturbing. we were under siege of some sort…the people in my house. my sister was there, some other people, brni, etc. we got word that someone was planning on attacking us–an ambush of some sort. we were going upstairs. they were attic stairs with a door at both ends. lori was climbing the stairs ahead of me. i turned to see if brni was behind me but instead a man stood, glaring, smiling a seriously demented smile. i saw his face quite clearly…it didn’t look like a “dream” face at all…looked quite real. he had something in his hand…an implement of some sort–looked like a horse grooming tool, but with jagged metal teeth. the words i heard over and over were, “blunt force trauma.”

i think i’m going to be extra careful for awhile, and pay particular attention to men’s faces.

a ringing in my ear

this morning i was awakened by a bell. it rang just inside my right ear. just one ring of an small, old, brass bell in my ear.

loki started wagging her tail under the covers by my feet. her usual sleeping place. now THAT got my attention. loki heard it too.

no one was there ringing bells that i could see. but i guess it was time to get up anyway.

i think the cloth that divides daytime from dreamtime is a bit frayed about the edges. i think it has to do with reiki and drums and quakers and the spirits of weeds.

i think this is good.

pass the pillow

last night i had a dream that i had taken dad to his doctor appointment and as we were leaving the examining room, i proceeded to the doctor’s consulting office to speak with him, but there was a different doctor occupying his office and he was stuck in the first office which was much smaller. i asked the nurse why the change, and she said that this new, evil doctor came into the practice and just moved all Boschetti’s stuff out and took over the bigger office.

so today i took dad to his doctor appointment and as we were going back to the examining room, his doctor was sitting in the smaller office. it was exactly the same as in my dream, although the reason for the switch was not nearly so sinister.

this is the second psychic dream i’ve had since using this particular dream pillow mixture. so, for everyone i gave a dream pillow to for xmas — PAY ATTENTION!

i think i’d rather stay awake

dreamt that i was sitting with luisa. we were supposedly in the library, but you wouldn’t recognize it as a library. it was chaoltic and there were shopping carts, trash, toys, people lying around. joe came in with lots of papers and sat down. luisa walked off and i said to joe that i wanted to be brutally honest about his plan for the planetary scanner. i told him none of his options were viable and gave him my opinion on what he should do. when he answered me he was very serious and his voice was about an octave lower than usual. i thought to myself that he was doing that on purpose to show how mature and serious he is. it was a farce.

another dream…earlier. i went to the new karate school to see master chang. jess was there and i think brni was too. the kids class was just over and the adult class was starting. i didn’t know who was teaching. he was showing people different sorts of traditional weapons. master chang came into the weight room and started working out. he had hair cut in a very young stylish manner. it was weird. i tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention and he turned. i said hi. he turned and looked at me and said, ah, linda. hello. then he turned away from me. no smile. no how are you. nothing. he was angry with me and disappointed. i was very sad and wanted so much to talk to him to explain why i had to stop coming to class and also to see if he could help me get over my back problems so that i could come back. he moved over to a different weight machine and i approached him again. this time i complimented his hair and he smiled and sort of morphed into a shallow silly man talking about ridiculous things. again, i was unable to tell him why i was there and the way he was acting, i didn’t think he would be able to help.

i left and went upstairs to see the new section of the school. the empty hallway was freshly painted a rather strange yellow with burnt sienna trim. i walked into the back room and there were lots of women there playing with all these strange gadgets. there were floating lamps and all manner of strange electronic stuff. it was something out of the discovery store meets soft porn by disney. the guy who just moved in (apparently, this part of the building became an apartment) came in and sat down to eat. i held one of the toys and asked what it was and asked why he had so many cool and wonderful things. he said they were great chick magnets. so, i left, looked in the other rooms…they were all full of tastefully arranged techno wonders. i went back into the stark hallway and down the stairs to the dojo, which felt more like a huge warehouse a la ikea. i left, feeling rather depressed. jesse left with me, but he was very happy and talkative.

don’t remember much more, except somewhere in one of these dreams i was looking at an ultrasound of a baby. but the ultrasound was animated and showed the baby swiming in a tube-like bottle. i don’t know if it was mine or someone elses. my mom was there and she was very happy about it. there was also a man demonstrating some new agey-wavy magical toys or instruments that showed the relation of the new baby to the electro magnetic field surrounding the earth and how when the earth passes through to the center of this field the baby flips over. none of it made any sense and the strange gauges and ultrasound cartoon kept moving around wildly.

i’m not feeling at all rested.

iguanas and parrots don’t mix

okay…I did not like this dream.
Spike, our iguana, was climbing into Milo’s (the parrot) cage. Spike was very little (he’s really about 3 1/2 feet long), so he squeezed through the bars and was hanging onto a piece of food or toy (couldn’t tell) that was suspended in the cage. Milo did not like this at all and went after him. I saw what was happening and yelled for Brni while also yelling at Milo and dashing for the cage to save Spike.
of course dreamtime makes moving quickly or effectively rather impossible.
Milo grabbed Spike by the neck. I screamed for Brni and somehow grabbed the two of them. I couldn’t figure out how to get Milo to let go…I thought of pressing in on the sides of his beak or pressing down on his eyes, but before I could do anything, Spike stopped moving and Milo dropped him.
I picked him up and ran into another room (don’t know why) calling for Brni to come help.
Spike was not moving and his eyes were unfocused. I tried to revive him by tapping on his chest, but he just sort of opened his mouth slightly — I remember very distinctly focusing on his mouth for some reason — then he sort of jerked slightly. I was sure he was dead, but then not sure.
i can’t even dream without doubting myself!
Brni, throughout all this was there, but sort of in the shadows and though he followed me in the other room, he never really participated, but rather stayed behind me looking over my shoulder. I had the feeling that everything was going to fast for him to respond.

This is one of those weirdly vivid dreams that don’t fade after waking.
Dunno what it means (if anything) but I did not like it.

sleepless in berwyn…

another nightmare on monday…one of those with a sub-theme that occurs over and over.

i was in this house that was not our house, but we were living there it was all very high tech and white…everything was white…walls, shag (ugh) carpeting, furniture…everything. there was a little baby there that i was taking care of and he was very important to the world. anyway…there were 3 doors to this house. front, side and back doors. the front and back doors were locked tight, but the side door didn’t lock well…it was very old and didn’t latch onto the door frame well at all. you could throw the lock but still push the door open.

some horrible people were trying to break into the house…some men led by a very nasty woman. they were trying to kill me and get the baby. i was struggling to secure the house…checking the locks as these people were surrounding the house, trying to get it. no matter what i did, i couldn’t seem to get the back door to lock. i threw the bold, but it wouldn’t catch…i tried holding the door at different angles, pushing it tight, pulling it, trying to line the bold up but it just wouldn’t latch. there was a really old hook and eye lock that i managed to set, but it wouldn’t take much to just bust through that one. so i tried putting furniture up against the door to buy time. brni was out but were supposed to come back soon. i was trying to call him on the cell but just couldn’t seem to get through. i was trapped and defenseless.

difficulty locking doors and not being able to use telephones are old dream-scape themes for me. very frustrating and very scary. i hate recurring dreams like these. and they usually come in clusters, so i expect not to be getting much in the way of restful sleep for awhile.

last night’s dream

His voice came over the line between the rings. “Listen carefully and don’t speak. They took them away. They are not longer here. They are at 11 Decency Gate.” He was breaking up. I yelled, “Who took them? What is the number where I can reach them?” But he was gone amidst the crackle between the rings. The man on the phone sounded just like Gordon, but how could that be? Who was he?

Somehow, I knew that 11 Decency Gate was in Amsterdam. The thought that people had taken my sister and Gordon against their will twisted in my gut. In a panic, I dialed 0-1-1 for the international operator but when I heard the operator’s accented voice, the line went dead.

I woke up.

lying down with dogs

Dreamt of Loki last night…a very complicated, convoluted, just plain bizarre dream. Loki had about 2 dozen puppies. They were very, very tiny, about 3 or 4 inches in length with Loki’s coloring and markings. I was looking out over the back yard which was much more massive and glorious than my yard. Everything got rather dark and the sky looked to be brewing a storm. I began to panic with the realization that I needed to get the pups inside quickly. I dashed outside and began gathering them up in my arms, then running back to the house through the basement door. Everywhere I looked, I saw another pup curled up in the grass. It was so dark, I could barely see them and was in terror of missing one or more.

Finally, I was certain I had them all. They were all over the basement, getting into nooks and crannies, under steps, tucked in corners. I needed to get them into a crate or cage, but Loki’s old crate was still at Brni’s brother’s place and the large crate we used for Precious when she was too old and infirm to deal with the high shelves in her ig cage was just too large. I went upstairs and was surprised to see that Brni had gathered the pups up and put them in a crate that I’d never seen before.

Then I realized that we had no puppy food for them and they’d not eaten for 24 hours! In this dreamtime, puppies could not survive more than 24 hours without food, so I dashed off to Braxton’s to buy food for them. I thought I’d just run to the store, but then realized that driving would be quicker and I could run other errands on the way back. I don’t remember ever really getting to the store and buying the food, but at some point, I was back at the house and the pups were ok.

(This is an old theme that has pervaded my dreams for many years. In the midst of the dream, I find I’ve neglected something very important. I am usually riddled with guilt at my irresponsible behavior, which I tend to carry with me into waking time.)

There was a woman sitting in our living room who was there to adopt one of the pups. She was talking about how she was against kissing animals or holding them in any way. I wanted this vile woman out of the house and pulled Brni aside to tell him that she would never get one of our puppies and to just get her name and address and tell her we’d let her know. I told Brni to start a list, but he wanted to write her name and address down on a little slip of paper. I told him no, I wanted a list of names on one piece of paper instead of a bunch of little slips of paper. This apparently was a problem for him and I was getting rather angry at being contradicted in front of others. I don’t remember how this ended…

At some point, I found myself outside again…or this could have been earlier in the dream…it’s hard to track the order of events. But, there were many people all milling about the yard, going in and out of the house. Loki jumped up on a chair and began to pee very hard. The pee streamed through the slats in the chair to the ground, where it created a small puddle. I was shocked and said, “Loki, what are you doing?” Loki answered me,”Fishing.” Loki jumped down and ate a small, curled up grub which floated up from the middle of the puddle of pee. Then Loki jumped on the bench (we had a bench!) and proceeded to do the same thing. I pointed this out to Brni and said, “Listen. Loki, what are you doing?” She said, “Hunting,” and from the puddle of pee floated an earth worm.

We were astounded by her brilliance but a little grossed out by her method.

in passing…

i was in a dead sleep.
i opened my eyes and thought, that’s what it’s like being dead.
nothing. no time. no past, present, future.
no awareness or concept of awareness.
for a brief moment, i understood nothingness.
i told brni of my late night revelation and he said, “eww.”

deep, huh?

plague/last nights dream

ugh. tummy plague. couldn’t go to karate.
dream last night…
rainrainrain…looked out the back door and saw that our little stream had risen well over it’s bank and was flooding all the way up to our yard. opened the front door and realized that the flood was raging out front…it was torrential and a dam that shouldn’t be there had burst and the waters were rushing towards us. it was very violent and i yelled to everyone to back away from the front of the house. i quickly shut the door…was worried that i wouldn’t get it shut in time and even if i did that it wouldn’t hold, but it did.
a few minutes later the water started to recede and things calmed down. we were able to leave the house. things were a mess…water everywhere but the danger had passed.
as i was investigating outside, i saw that i had to move someone’s car (phylis from work). i needed to put some sort of sign on it, don’t remember why, but it was important. phylis came out and thanked me for taking care of her car.
i then went over to a walled area where i had some plantings. my plants were all greening up, and spots that weren’t planted were sprouting new growth. upon closer inspection, i saw it was all bindweed. i thought about leaving it, but decided that would be problematic, so i began pulling it all out.

dream 1/12/05

so let’s see if i remember…
dreamt about going to the drumming circle, but it was some sort of celebration. christmas or new years, i think. things were happening in the typical, crazy, crowded dreamscape. i was going w/kry’s sister (never met her, but krys has written abt her). she was very excited about going…she thought something very special was going to happen to her, so she was racing around putting together a very flamboyant outfit. i remember sparkly green, flouncy material and the highlight of the outfit was a gauzy, green tail with rhinestones.
i said that i wanted to follow her in my own car in case one of us wanted to leave early. she said ok, but was visibly upset…eyes welling up and chin trembling. i backed off taking my own car, but i was unhappy about it.
then things changed or were jumbled up with other stuff. lots of people in an almost outdoor/barn-like concert setting…in a large pasture? wooden scaffolding? it was confusing event. music? drums? lots of men in hippy-like brown leather and scarves.

later in the morning…
alarm-snoozing for about a half hour. half dreaming, i was aware of some rhythmic tapping, almost like a heartbeat. then a loud bang in my left ear made me wake w/a startled jerk.

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turkey dreams

so last week i dreamt that my aunt called my sister and told her that she would not be cooking thanksgiving dinner and that i should do it. i was really pissed because sally didn’t bother calling me and she waited til the last minute to back out. plus the fact that we’re vegetarians and now i have to cook a turkey.

so today my aunt called…

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