until my back surgery and i have no idea how i feel, what i think, and time is all bent out of shape. usually, when i have to wait for something, time takes forever, but not this time. i was counting on this time being longer than it is. i dislike it when time messes with me this way. whoever is in charge of time is not very nice and has a lousy sense of humor and one of these days, i will exact my revenge. i just don’t know when.
tomorrow night i begin my betadine showers. i must wash my body from the neck down in betadine for 3 days prior to surgery. i understand why, but i still find this strangely disconcerting. i don’t look good in orange.
i plan on spending sunday trying to do nothing. i’ll pack my little bag on saturday so that sunday can just happen without any input from me. i might go so far as to stop talking. the only things i must do is remember to stop eating at 9 and stop drinking at midnight. i’ll be interested to find out if i’m able to sleep. i hope brni sleeps. one of us should, though i’m not sure why.
i still don’t know what time we have to be at the hospital on monday. they will call me sunday night to let me know. i don’t understand why they can’t figure this out before then. it all seems much too last minute to put my mind at ease. is this a power thing? a way to keep people from freaking out before they have to? or do they just have no clue what they’re doing? how can i trust people who don’t plan well?
well, anyway, 4 days…