not that i’m complaining, but…

it’s hard to be homebound. it’s exhausting to do nothing.

patience…yes, i get that the universe is teaching me this important lesson, but sheesh! why can’t i learn it in 3 weeks instead of 6? and at the end of the 6 weeks? nobody has told me what happens then. do i really get out of this brace? will i be able to drive? bend over? shower without help?

ok…granted i’m bored. the better i feel the more boring doing nothing is. but did my dad really have to take this opportunity to fabricate a crisis? for those of you who don’t know, my father is a demented, dirty old man. but even when he had all his marbles, he was a selfish, self-absorbed, procrastinating binge drinker with a propensity to lie and gamble. he never saved a dime and stole every penny i ever made (from the time i was 12) until i left home. then, he stole all the E bonds my mom saved for my son’s education. cashed them in and bragged about it.

so, how did i get stuck being responsible for his well-being? just stupid, i guess. he also managed to get me financially strapped by getting me to cosign his lease. and now, he’s running the risk of getting himself kicked out because he started picking a fight with one of the owners. he’s not only senile, he’s belligerent about it.

and here i am….stuck in the house…can’t even get in the car and go find out what’s going on. well, i guess he’s on his own with this one. not a damn thing i can do about it and if he does get kicked out, well, that’s on him. no way can i let him stay with us. we have a tiny, little house with only one bathroom and he can’t do stairs easily. plus he chain smokes stinky mentholated cigarettes and doesn’t bathe regularly. and he never shuts up. talk talk talk, mostly about his bowels. ugh.

so, it’s a bitch being homebound.

but then again, maybe it’s a blessing.


15 responses to “not that i’m complaining, but…

  • uneedak1u

    Yes, three weeks would be so much better than six. But when you start doing PT, you’ll be sooooooo glad that you had the extra time to recover. And you’ll be wishing you were just reclining again.
    Just keep repeating “It’s all worth it.” ‘Cuz it is. ;-}

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    • lsaboe

      o, i already know it’s worth it! i can stand! and walk! with none of the hideous pain down my legs. i guess i just sink into whine-mode now and then.
      but i am looking forward to PT. i’m used to physical effort/pain from all those years of martial arts under master chang. PT after Master Chang—heh—piece of cake.
      but i must say, you were much braver than i. the cervical fusion is so much scarier than what i did. i’m in awe of you.

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      • uneedak1u

        Don’t be in awe. We all do what we have to do to feel better.
        Honestly, the worst of it for me was that we had a gig 3 1/2 weeks after my surgery, so I had to be able to sing. And I was so hoarse I could barely speak for almost two full weeks after – I wasn’t sure I was gonna be able to do it.

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      • lsaboe

        you sing?
        ok…now i bow down to your magnificence…well, i would if i was allowed to bow.
        😉
        (i sing like a dead frog with a sore throat)

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      • brni

        (i sing like a dead frog with a sore throat)
        that’s not true. you don’t sound like that at all when you sing.

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  • brni

    learning patience takes time… if you ever *do* figure out how to learn patience quickly, we’ll write up a self-help book and then you can go on the lecture circuit and start doing PBS fund drives.
    you always wanted to meet patrick stoner, didn’t you?

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  • notzathros

    “No!” to dad. Sounds like he’s taken enough from you and it’s time to let him choose his own path. He’s got lessons to learn and if you keep interfering with his education, he’ll never have an opportunity to evolve. Don’t deprive this man of his opportunity to grow;)
    Hmm… the pain, uncertainly and boredom suck, but when dealing with the parent and in-laws, being in the brace does seen to have a tiny silver lining.
    If you feel your resolve weakening where dad is concerned, give me a call and I’ll remind you “NO!”. (grin)
    Thinking of you and, as always, if there’s anything I can do, please let me know.

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    • lsaboe

      yeah, there is that silver lining with the brace…gee, sorry i can’t sit for hours eating bad food with you–and–gee, dad, sorry i can’t shoulder your burden anymore, but i’m not allowed to lift more than 5 pounds dontachaknow.
      o yeah, there be linings!
      thanks for the good thoughts and offers of help, but things are pretty much under control around here. brni has really done an incredible job of taking over everything.
      anyway…hope to see you sometime soon…feel free to drop by anytime you’re in the area. i’m HERE with no place else to go. some call that a captive audience. 😉

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  • ossobucco

    Aww, man, boy do I ever empathize. Not about the dad thing but about having to sit around and wait to heal.
    It’s intensely frustrating.
    Big ol’ hugs.
    Your dad doesn’t deserve you, by the way.

    Like

  • westlinwind

    Are you able to do any art, dear one?
    *looks at her sternly* Don’t even CONSIDER having him move in. EVER.

    Like

    • lsaboe

      art? sigh…not really. i’ve been doodling, but i can’t stay in a sitting position for longer than 20 or 30 minutes and the kind of positions i get myself into when i’m doing art are not allowed right now.
      i tried, but trying to draw while reclining is ridiculous.
      and no, no friggin way will he move in here, tho’ he WILL expect it. he even started telling his sister he’d move in with her and her husband wasn’t even cold in the grave! i wonder if we can create a new class of senility…senile opportunism?

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