not much of nothing

i am feeling very numb. no creative spark. dull and dumb.
i have nothing to say so i feel blank and lazy.

lots of nightmares recently, though i’m not telling. too disturbing and revealing.

i’m just tired of me.

9 thoughts on “not much of nothing

    1. lsaboe says:

      hmmm… i think we’re more alike than you know. we should make time to get together. you should come over and hang out. i’ll even feed and water you.

      1. zjman says:

        I do think we should plan something soon. This week is a little iffy, but perhaps you’re both free sometime during the weekend or next week?

      2. lsaboe says:

        we have something happening on friday, but saturday and sunday look to be free. really, we’re usually around and just puttering. let’s talk closer to the weekend.

    1. lsaboe says:

      i guess we all feel this way at times. but no, i’m not bipolar. i do tend to have melancholy episodes and have experienced long-term, clinical depression in times past, but i’m fairly normal in terms of brain chemistry (even factoring in the hot, italian temper).
      this just all comes from the long recovery from the lumbar fusion. i am impatient. i want to do what i want to do for as long as i want to do it. and i can’t. i can’t sit long enough to be as production on the computer or at my easel as i’m used to. i can’t do the work necessary to get my gardening tasks done. i’m facing losing my dandelion, violet, comfrey and plantain harvest to make my vinegars and oils. i haven’t even gotten the beds cleaned out yet.
      physical therapy is boring and i’m sick of pain. i’m simply tired of my back being the focus of my life. bleh.
      it’s just all so frustrating to feel that i’m wasting the world’s time.

      1. irishkerry says:

        Not a waste . . .
        Truly — you could pretty much sit like a lump and, as long as you kept your warm heart, would be doing anything *but* wasting the world’s time. I know just a few people, you included, who make the world a better place just by being in it.
        I wish I could come garden with you!
        Big hugs . . .

  1. earlofgrey says:

    Is there any gardening with which I can help you? I may be occupied for a couple of weeks, as my mom will be traveling and I’ll be trying to help my sister with the baby as much as possible, but after that I would love to help and maybe learn things.

  2. notzathros says:

    Can I be of help? What can I do for you in the garden? (Sam can probably swing by to lend a hand in the garden too if you’d like.) I’m available pretty much anytime. Sam’s generally available on Sundays.

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