balancing somewhere around even-or-what i did for the summer solstice

I think I’ve been avoiding writing anything about my life. Not totally sure why, but I seem to be in a very long, drawn out state of transition, and it feels uncomfortable and when I’m uncomfortable or unsure of things, I tend to withdraw. But there are a few things that need mentioning…

Yesterday was my last physical therapy session since my surgery. I am still amazed that I have healed so quickly and so well. Hell, I’m amazed I survived! I’m at the point where I no longer need supervision, but can do my exercises at home. The physical therapist I was assigned to left for a new job three weeks ago and since then I’ve been going, doing my thing, telling the new, disinterested therapist when I was done and then leaving. Why should I continue paying the $15 copay to do what I can easily do at home? So now, I’m planning on going back to my yoga classes and resurrecting my home practice.
***

The other night, my yoga teacher and I went to a local Krishna Temple to participate in a Kirtan and Yoga Nidra led by Amrit Desai. Amrit is now 76 years old and from what people told me, just as engaging now as he was in his younger days when he founded the Kripalu Center (before the scandal that sent him packing to Florida). The man truly is amazing on many levels. He’s a true Guru (scandals aside), a dedicated Yogi, accomplished artist and his singing voice is quite beautiful. As I watched and learned from him, the thought that this vibrant man was the same age as my demented, manipulative father kept creeping into my consciousness. It was interesting that one of the messages he gave us was how to let go of the past saying, “No one in your past is responsible for how you feel now.”
***

I bought a new djembe today. It’s a 12″ Remo. The body is what they call “mud” which translates into plain old brown. I’m thinking after I get to know this drum a bit better that I might decorate it. The drum is much lighter than my bigger (14″) traditional djembe. The tone isn’t as deep and full as the big one, but I like it a lot so far. I was so inspired after I got it that I decided to try and tune the old one (which was all loose and rumbly). I’ve been afraid to try tuning it, but once I got the hang of the knots it was really pretty easy, and now the drum sounds great again. yay! So, now I have a 7″, 12″ and a 14″ djembe plus the 16″ frame drum I made. Now, if I only had a modicum of talent. ah well.

So…it looks like I’m finally moving from surgery victim to normal human.

’bout time — it is the summer solstice after all — time to harvest St. John’s wort.


7 responses to “balancing somewhere around even-or-what i did for the summer solstice

  • Anonymous

    Yogi Desai
    Bob and I made many, many trips to the ashram that used to exist in PA, and we vacationed at the Shadowbrook ashram a couple of times (all of this BC, of course — before children!).
    I was really impressed with Yogi Desai’s satsangas. He really had a great combination of good humor, common sense, and Enlightenment. It was a pleasure to listen to him. I was beginning to let go of some of that old Catholic-school guilt that had been instilled in me and beginning to discover what having a body was all about.
    Too bad about the scandal, which broke after we had kids and had stopped going to Kripalu. However, I just don’t feel that I could trust Amrit, as I can remember a lot of things that he said
    during the time he was also doing the scandalous stuff. Not that he should be punished for the rest of his life, just that he’ll never be my guru.
    Liberata

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    • lsaboe

      Re: Yogi Desai
      Yes, I certainly understand, and there seems to still be feelings of betrayal by many who were there at the time. He was quite good and interesting and I really enjoyed the Yoga Nidra. Among the group that gathered, it was easy to see the difference between those who study with him now and those who knew him from way back when. His current students all had the glow of awe usually reserved for rock stars and new lovers. The people who lived through the scandals and had put it behind them treated him with the respectful deference one gives to an old but distant friend.
      btw, while you were in NC, I saw Bob at the fund raiser for the Kripalvananda Yoga Institute. Did he tell you? That was quite a surprise!

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  • notzathros

    So glad you’re finally able to enjoy the things you love again!! Miss you. Sushi sometime??

    Like

  • otcyborg

    So glad to hear than you are doing so well. I miss you. Can we visit soon?

    Like

  • westlinwind

    I loved drumming with you tonight, beautiful lady.

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  • zjman

    I think I’ve been avoiding writing anything about my life
    I’ve made up for us both.

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  • ossobucco

    I think I’ve been avoiding writing anything about my life. Not totally sure why, but I seem to be in a very long, drawn out state of transition, and it feels uncomfortable and when I’m uncomfortable or unsure of things, I tend to withdraw.
    Oh boy. This describes me perfectly too.

    Like

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