verizon respects my privacy

at this moment, i’ve been on hold for 32 minutes waiting for a Verizon “consultant” to help me.

You see, we decided it was time to retire the old phone and get a neat new phone with extra handsets that we could place in our offices upstairs, thus eliminating the need to fish wires through the walls from the main phone box in the basement and save us from running down the stairs just to miss a call. While we were at it, we decided to review the service packages that Verizon offers, in an attempt to save money on regional toll calls.

this all seemed perfectly reasonable to me…

What is unreasonable is the voice mail hell that is Verizon’s customer service system and the obvious lack of respect for their customers’ time. There is no option to opt out of the voice mail maize–you can press zero all you want, it ain’t gonna get you to a “consultant” any faster. It also requires you to speak your info….no pressing 1 for English or 2 for a billing inquiries or 3 to report a problem. No, you have to verbally interact with a recording, which just skeeves me no end. I do not like appliances that speak to me let alone ones that demand I respond in kind.

I did find out by call three that you can interrupt the recording by shouting your answer before the robotic voice finishes the litany of options. I mean, how many times do I have to listen to whether I want to learn about FIOS and direct TV when all I want is to talk to the phone company about my phone? And I know that they are serious about respecting my privacy because the mechanical lady told me 2 minutes into the hold music each time I called. And anyway, if you never get to talk about your account, no one will ever know about it. Simple.

Not only is talking to a customer service consultant an obvious impossibility, but when I attempted to use their website to order this change in service, I found out that Verizon’s content people either don’t know how time works or they must think we are all too dumb to notice the difference between 5 minutes and don’t-hold-your-breath-til-you-turn-blue. The site states that registration will take only 5 minutes, but before you can complete the registration process, they require you to request a “temporary pin number” which they will give you via calling your home phone within 20 minutes.

huh?
Honestly, I DO know how to count. I can add and subtract and I even know what > and < mean.

I proceed anyway, keeping the webpage up so that when they call in 20 minutes (with the added caveat that during "peak" calling times, the wait might be longer) I can quickly plug in the number. After an hour, I assume that they decided that this afternoon was a peak calling time, so with head hung low, I close my computer and dial the customer service number for the sixth time in two days.

Silly me. Maybe I am dumb after all.

HOLD THE PHONE — A HUMAN JUST ASKED IF SHE COULD HELP ME!

So there ya go — after 44 minutes on hold during the sixth phone call of the second day, a real person interrupted the soothing elevator music to ask me if I’d like to talk about high speed internet and direct TV. After I assured her that no, I am not interested in having Verizon rip out our copper (thus making it impossible to ever switch local phone companies if we’re dissatisfied with their service) and no, we’re also not interested in switching long distance providers, it took her all of 3 minutes to complete my request to change our service plan which should save us about $10 a month.

was it worth it?


4 responses to “verizon respects my privacy

  • jezebellydancer

    We had to have Verizon when we first moved our office to Phoenixville/valley forge. Seems this ofice complex is in some kind of technological black hole. We had problem afer problem with them, customer service being the biggest and worst. We were finally able to switch to XO. Every time a rep stops by, I blast them–spawn of Satan, trying to get me to come back to the Dark Side. No way.
    When we did the switchover, we had one problem after another. I finally had to get my XO guy and Verizon on the line for a conference call and told them they’d have to come here in eprson and do a locked room knife fight to the death to determine how to fix our problem. Turned out to be Verizon’s fault the switchover didn’t go smoothly– Really?
    Grr. Verizon has their own circle of hell, right next to the one I designed for Bill Gates.

    Like

    • brni

      bill already has his own circle of hell – it’s called “Windows ME.”
      VZ will do anything they can to fuck up a switchover to another company – it is so common that it has been concluded in court to be a strategy, and actionable (if you have the right lawyers and enough supporting evidence).
      XO must not have the right lawyers…

      Like

  • notzathros

    Yep. I’ve had a billing problem since November and despite making several calls and spending vast amounts of time on hold, I have yet to reach an actual human. Sigh. Congrats on reaching a Verizodrone – probably would have been a good day to buy a lottery ticket.

    Like

    • lsaboe

      i couldn’t have done it without the fancy, new phone which is cordless and has a cool button that makes it a speaker phone. put it on speaker with the volume way up and then pretended it was a radio. imagine my surprise…
      lottery ticket? heh…not sure if i could call getting through luck…more likely just an anomaly.

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