it seems i’ve become an illustrator

Despite the fact that I’ve always considered myself a “fine artist.” I find this revelation something of … well … a revelation! Not that I’ve anything against illustrators, far from it. I adore illustration. I’ve just never thought I could ever the take words and thoughts of another person and form a reasonable visual depiction.

apparently, i can.

Now, the only real “illustration” I’ve done is for my husband’s book, The Evil Gazebo. Of course, I can barely count this as real since I did the illustrations for my husband. But others have seen otherwise. I am now illustrating a story for a friend. She liked what I did for Brni and asked if I’d do the illustrations for her upcoming novella.

I am a fish drowning in water! I do not know how to swim and breath at the same time. Now, I’ve done other “illustrations” for various jobs I’ve held, but they were part of the job. Well, part of the job as in, “You know how to draw? So, will you do our seasonal brochures and our monthly displays and while you’re at it, our graphics department dropped the ball and we need a poster and flyers by the end of the day,” which to my mind is not the job of a real illustrator.


I’m doing another book. I’m getting pennies for the work, but it’s interesting and it keeps me drawing and I can finally say, I’m drawing with a purpose rather than wasting time.

Noto bene: I never thought I was wasting time drawing, but my father made sure to let me know that I was.

21 thoughts on “it seems i’ve become an illustrator

      1. mouseworks says:

        Because no father wants to think a girl can do better in life than he did (mine doesn’t remember my wanting to be a lawyer, much less his telling a lawyer I did summer secretarial work for that I wasn’t serious).
        You might want to see about putting together a package to show to art directors at various publishing houses.
        Women tend to be paid less than men for jobs that fall under secretarial if done by women and graphics design/computer tech support if done by men.
        Asimov’s is edited by a woman, Sheila Williams, and uses black and white line drawing inside and color cover art. I don’t know who the art director is there.

      2. lsaboe says:

        that’s really sad to think ahout. my father had a horrible, abusive childhood. his parents made sure he had no chance in life (scholarship offers in 10th grade during the depression were nixed by them, so he quit school instead). i always attributed his suppression of me as blind reaction to his own upbringing.
        i so hope that most women are not routinely subjected to this sort of thing.

      3. ladywind says:

        Re: fathers…
        ~quietly puts up a hand~
        (Mine didn’t.
        Unless looking at the highest point in the direction I was walking and asking why I wasn’t headed there, why I was headed to some midrange point counts. He stopped asking when I told him I *wanted* the midrange.
        I told him about the bookbinding, when I signed on with you guys, and he hmphed like he does when he’s smiling into his mustache and said, “Finally finding a niche for yourself, are you? You’ll be happier making things you can see. I was.”
        So… don’t worry too hard. We weren’t all hamstrung by our fathers. I ache for those who were, though. ~hugs~)

      4. Anonymous says:

        Re: fathers…
        My father’s father killed a man over a gambling debt and then ran back to Italy, leaving his wife and 7 children, of which my father was the oldest.
        Some story, eh? And not nearly as romantic as the Godfather.
        My grandmother apparently couldn’t hold any sort of a family ethic together. My father went to trade school to become a barber after 8th grade. I think he gave his mother some money, but he and the 4 other boys got to do pretty much whatever they wanted, while the 2 girls did the housework and all the heavy chores.
        I think my father had other problems, like a severe inferiority complex. Seems that bullying my mom made him feel like a man…
        I hated him for the longest time, for not being a “dad,” someone I could talk to and count on, and for being so brutal towards my mom. Finally, when I was old enough to feel that needing a father was irrelevant, I started to try to get to know him as a person. But he got cancer and died.

      5. Anonymous says:

        Re: fathers…
        …hey, what happened to the last line of my comment??
        I said that I’m sure my father is resting in peace somewhere , and that wherever my mom is, I’m sure she’s keeping a safe distance 🙂

      6. lsaboe says:

        Re: fathers…
        It really is a shame to think how the misery of generations before influences our lives and possibly the lives of our children…and beyond? *shiver*
        The abuse inflicted on my grandfather (he left Norway because his father beat him) that he, in turn, inflicted on his wife and my dad, which caused my dad to be thoroughly incapable of realizing what a wonderful family he had…turning my mother into a martyr, and on and on…
        I ended up blaming Dad for everything, including my mother’s death (deserved or not) and then I was stuck with his care. I loved and hated him. I tried to treat him with love, swallow my hatred and do what was best for him within our means and circumstance, but I couldn’t avoid the bouts of anger and frustration. For the most part, those bouts occurred in private.
        The last time I saw him, he kept asking me to get him out of there (the nursing home). I tried to tell him I couldn’t because he had pneumonia and had to get well, but he got angry. When I left, I told him I’d see him in a couple days and he said, “You won’t see me again.”
        He was right. Three days later he was dead.
        Thank you for sharing about your dad. I had no idea you had experienced such difficulty and I’m in awe of how wonderful and strong you are.
        I miss my mom and dad, both. I’m sad for Dad in a way that I didn’t think possible. I give him a nod and a kind word every day now. I hope it helps him. I know it does me.

    1. lsaboe says:

      yes, you were lucky. my mom was wonderful. my poor dad was damaged.
      i only hope that i’ve made my boys as lucky by letting them know how incredibly amazing they are.

  1. ladywind says:

    ~bounces and squees!~
    I can’t wait to see this set.
    I can’t wait to work on this set.
    The only thing keeping me from cutting down the leather in eager anticipation is the fact that I don’t know how thick this one will be until I actually fold it together.
    Oh, how happy I am to work with you.
    You rock.

    1. damcphail says:

      You, too, are awesome, Jess. Don’t worry. I’m wrapping up a couple of must-finish projects, then I’m back on whipping this into shape. We have a November deadline now.

      1. damcphail says:

        Re: Love and Hugs!
        Hehehehe…I’m working on it! I’m working on it!
        Still, as they say…famous or infamous 😉
        Working on that beer too!

Leave a Reply