this is the first thanksgiving without my father. i thought of him throughout the night. thanksgiving has never been one of my favorite holidays because “family dinners” always ended up rather dismal. dad would usually be drinking and wishing he were elsewhere; mom would be stressed putting on a big meal, knowing that at some point dad would turn nasty, finding an excuse to storm out of the house to go hang at the bar.

later, after mom died, thanksgiving was a battle of who’s house to eat at and the inevitable pressure put on us from the family contingent that was not being graced with our obligatory presence. a particularly annoying case of family push-me-pull-me nonsense.

i tried having thanksgiving at my house one year, but there’s something wrong with vegetarians cooking turkey and the universe cursed us for the effort. see http://thereallinda.livejournal.com/2004/11/27/ for that particular misery.

but…
last night was very nice. my son, jess and his girlfriend came, brni’s parents, marnie’s dad and a few family friends came with assorted wines and musical instruments. after dinner we all played music and sang silly songs.

last year dad was with us and had a very happy time.
i sent him a song for the day.